


Escaping from a Drug Lord in Several Easy Steps (Or: Arthur Saves Eames From Himself)

by darksylvia



Series: Rescuers with Benefits [1]
Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Explosions, Helicopters, M/M, Running away from stuff, also stealing stufff, like drug lords
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 10:31:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14932563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darksylvia/pseuds/darksylvia
Summary: Eames needs a rescue and Arthur likes multitasking and shiny weapons.





	Escaping from a Drug Lord in Several Easy Steps (Or: Arthur Saves Eames From Himself)

**Author's Note:**

> So very late in contributing to this fandom, oops. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Colombia was not one of Arthur's favorite places, in so far as he had favorite places.

He was also not, as a rule, fond of cocaine-manufacturing drug czars. But they always seemed to have the best, most deadly weapons and gadgets, and aside from the problems they posed to Arthur's health, sometimes virulent covetousness won against caution.

This time he hadn't even tried to resist, which was why he now had a very interesting fifty pound case strapped to his back while rappelling down the side of a Spanish-style villa. It was going to be hell trying to get it out of the country, but that was what bribes were for, and think of all the money he'd saved by stealing it instead of getting it on the black market from some sketchy little arms dealer.

In any case, the coveting and subsequent theft had all just distracted him from his true purpose: saving Eames' ass. Again. 

He kicked away from the wall gently, swinging back to push out again as lightly and soundlessly as he could. No one had noticed his presence yet, and as with extraction, he always did his best to keep it that way as long as possible.

This particular drug lord, Eduardo, lived very remotely, and that had made him a little lax about where he kept his prisoners. There were no dungeons or steel-reinforced doors, and Arthur was especially grateful to have discovered via his quick (but thorough) research that Eduardo didn't favor booby traps, either. Arthur now made it a point to add that to his recon, since the last time Eames had run afoul of someone powerful and murderous she'd had a lovely estate rigged like a fucking Indiana Jones movie. There'd been _scorpions_. Arthur still mourned those Ferragamo loafers.

Arthur dropped noiselessly to the ground, cut his cord, and walked over to the small, squat building, shadowed by the East wall of the villa and half-submerged in the ground. Its door was down precisely ten stone stairs. Arthur studied the lock with a jaded eye and knew it was beyond him (although Cobb could probably have taken it apart given enough time). He rapped his knuckles against it and got that satisfying thunk that meant it was wood and plaster all the way through, and then started wiring explosives near the hinges.

When he'd gotten it set up (precisely twenty seconds later, but he was out of practice and it should have only taken him fifteen), he leaned close to the door and knocked: short long, three shorts, three more shorts. A few seconds later came the same repeated back to him. Arthur snorted, consulted his watch and counted down exactly ten seconds as he retreated up the stairs and around the side of the building. He dropped to a crouch and pressed the detonator.

It was a modest explosion, not meant to cause any more damage than one doors' worth, but of course, even the laziest villain had a security system, and it would have gone off whether Arthur had picked the lock or blown it apart. Arthur was only a fan of subtlety when it went hand in hand with expediency.

He stood and moved toward the stairs just as Eames emerged, picking his way over the door debris in a casual manner. He gave Arthur a once-over.

"Oh, hello Arthur. Nice of you to drop by."

"We have a helicopter to catch on the other side of the building in two minutes," Arthur said, hitching his bag of stolen weaponry a little higher. "But at some point I'd like an explanation for a certain satellite photo someone at the defense department emailed me. Somehow spelling S.O.S on a lawn with the clothing of the wife of a drug czar you are currently seducing lacks the self preservation implied by the action."

Eames moved a little closer and leaned in. "She had dimples like yours," he said. "But she lacked your flair with explosives and your sense of style." He paused and added, thoughtfully, "When we get home I'm going to let you tie me up with those new Charvet braces. Did a little shopping, did we?" He snapped one of Arthur's suspenders for emphasis, then he traced a finger over Arthur's jaw, taking his chin between thumb and forefinger.

Arthur leaned in the last few inches and kissed him. He sensed Eames getting ready to seize him and take the kiss up a few notches and forced himself to pull away before Eames could get his tongue in Arthur's mouth. He knew from unfortunate experience that that tended to end in missing their ride and having to walk through five days of jungle to find the nearest non-hostile transportation.

"A minute ten," he said, and set off toward the rendezvous point.

Of course, it was never that simple. Eduardo, alerted by his alarm system about what was happening, came tearing out onto the lawn half-dressed with an army of bodyguards behind him. He literally roared. Arthur wasn't sure if he was angry at Eames getting away or angry at the priceless piece of frankly amazing weaponry Arthur was currently stealing.

Neither of them really had the leisure to look behind them, but from what Arthur had glimpsed, fighting their way out was not an option. It was a good thing they were both such excellent sprinters.

Jackie was piloting, and though Arthur was paying her a princessly sum of money for her trouble, she'd mostly agreed because she genuinely liked Eames. They flung themselves into the back of the helicopter and Jackie pulled back on the throttle, sending them wobbling up into the air as quickly as possible, while they both grabbed for handles and straps to avoid falling out, and gunfire crackled in their wake.

"What did you nick this time?" asked Eames, once they'd strapped in, lips pressed to Arthur's ear to be heard over the helicopter.

Arthur leaned back in his seat, grinning. 

"It's a new kind of sound bomb. There are only five in the entire world and those are all controlled by either the military or the criminals they've sold them to."

"And _what_ are you going to do with it?" Eames brushed his lips against the delicate skin behind Arthur's ear. There was a pause. "You don't know, do you?" 

Arthur gave him an indignant look. Eames pressed his forehead to Arthur's temple and began to laugh.


End file.
